“Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none” – William Shakespeare
The beginning of a new life starts with love. It is the oldest trait and trade of human. But still, we are bad at it and screw it up most of the times.
And there are plenty of reasons for it. It is so complicated. After all, it consists of everything and anything.
Read Also: Keep Heart Fit To Love And Be Loved
Feelings itself are complicated, lives make them a labyrinth of unknown and unexpected. Truly to say there is no easy way out. Even, do not know if there is a way leading out.
The journey itself can be interesting and it is when the spark flies. So, do not try to make a scape from it or looking for an ending because the real ending is when you breathe for the last time. It is better to make the journey interesting instead.
Not Just The Cliché, Synchronize to Modern Time Love Rules
Those who say love does not change, they are lying straight to your face. Love changes, they always do. Why not? After all, we are changing every day, why not our hearts.
But still, you can try to do the right to the least.
1. Appreciate. It Takes A Lot to Do Something. Especially When Out Of Norm
You have a definite lifestyle. There are set of things that you do, you don’t, subconsciously do, out of habit avoids and is not used to, right? All human are like that. Your brain has got a lot of layers. The same goes for your partner.
People are brought up in a specific atmosphere with or without family and that mostly determine how their personality and preference will be like. It is not that easy to step out of that boundary but when in love, it is expected and norm to step out of the comfort zone. Why? We do fall in love with that unexpected feeling.
Time to time for the loved ones, we do break all the rules and do something unusual. It may be a small tiny thing like wearing a tie when attending a family or friends party of the partner or slipping into a particular dress for the beloved eyes. Or something ‘nothing’ like positioning back the pillows after watching TV.
Or something very crucial like putting the remote back to its original position. Appreciate your partner for that. Regard their action intended for you and let them know you are happy with his efforts and that you actually notice what they do, especially to you. 😉
Even on the other scenario, appraise them when they do not do anything. It will encourage them to do something. And true to say if you really love them then having them in your life is also something worth appreciation. Isn’t it?
2. Focus On The Present. Past Has Left You. And Future Is Uncertain, Yet To Come
Before you meet your S.O. all of you have a past. Not only a love relationship past but your whole life. There have been many ups and downs there. Many struggles and great moments. They have brought you up and made you who you are today.
But still, do not let them influence you all the time. It is not the whole. There are lot more possibilities with variables and differential equation. In short, life is full of changes. One thing that happened in your past because of certain things will surely not make the same thing happen in the future. Time, place, objects change everything. You have to grow among them while changing accepting and believing while letting it go coolly.
Do not fret over the past relationship and keep on comparing your present with it. Do not assume if your dad or any other person was of certain types others will be the same. Do not think ahead of far future. Time changes everything.
That is why give a chance to yourself and the other person. Let it work out if it could. Stand back and keep an eye on how it goes. Do not jump off to a conclusion instantly. Giving some time before making a decision will not make you regret anything. It will help you to grow.
3. But, Do Not Compromise in Love
They say the relationship is about compromises and adjustment. But, if that is a so, where you have to change a lot to suit your partner and kill your style or liking what is the whole point of this’love’ then?
Why are you in a relationship anyway? Is not it because of love then how can love take away the thing you love. Changing is good. It is what human is like and a person should always be changing, a better version, a better version of themselves not of someone else.
But, when you have to change something that is not bad or unhealthy according to your partner taste that does not make any sense no matter how small thing that is. Just because the partner like to have fruits before bed that is why you have to change you chocolate treat does not make sense (do brush before bed though).
You want and you get, that’s luck,
You want and you wait, that’s time.
You want but you compromise, that’s life,
And you want and you wait and you do not compromise that’s love.
Change for better the way you feel you can. Your partner can show you the new world but it is up to you whether you want to discover it or not. After all your breath and heartbeats are no matter what yours
4. But, Take Them into Consideration
Yes, you should not change yourself but there is nothing bad in taking them into consideration. I mean you are after all your partner’s biggest source of happiness.
It will not kill you to meet their friends, family or co-workers once in a while. It is a way to approve your relation also. You show the world that you are together. Works well for you actually. Everyone knows they are taken and will not try to score when you are around. (Or also when you are. There are weird people in the world.)
Same goes for giving them some time of their own, respecting their privacy, their values, their goals. Everyone has their own way of looking the world. It may not match you but you also have got no right to judge theirs unless it is unhealthy and unsocial. Approach them politely in that case.
On that note……
5. People With Similar Values Suit Better
Before starting lemme clear myself, it is not cent percent appropriate at all (like all other points here). This thing has nothing to do with some and then again everything. It depends on the personal point of view.
People with same values tend to understand other better (logic). Their lifestyle even may fit. They might get inspired by other and also admires other goals and dream. A mutual bond is established.
Like speaking of me I believe in everything logical is possible by a human when tried hard. I also believe in positivity, kindness, respecting others and no judging. So, when I see a person who is also confident, logical, open-minded and well-mannered, it is natural to feel attraction and to relate easily. Fall in love again and again through the person every aspect.
Love is a promise. Love is a souvenir. Once given never forgotten, never let it disappear.
6. Taken for Granted. Say Good Bye
It has been centuries. People are taking people as a tool. Using them according to their need. Even the loved person. And that is where the heart breaks the most. Using them on purpose or without knowing both ends up in the same result. Heart-break.
When somebody is in your life, we will not really get the picture of what they hold for you until one day there is no one holding it.
So, guys do not take a person for granted or let someone take you for granted. Both are self-destructing, also for both. As said before. Appreciate what you have. If someone does not, no need to waste time.
7. Keep the Sparks Ignited
A little bit of tension between the sexes keeps the fun ignited and the attraction strong.
That is how everything started, right?
You met. You felt intimidated. A draw towards each other but also something forbidden. Right? A blast of emotions. That is what you need throughout the life to feel excited about the relationship.
Always look attractive, meaning impressive (everyone deserves to look best too). But, that does not mean get the deck up in tie and suit or hide under tons of makeup. No. Natural. Simplicity is the best. Look tidy. Look well groomed. Look what you mean it. You mean to live.
Smile at them, from corners, throw some signs, slay with attitude but give them proper respect. Make them feel like they really do mean. Their existence itself is the truth.
Hold hands. Go to dates. Pick up flowers. Tell naughty remarks. Do fun. Maybe tease a little. Joke. Share your most stupid thought. Laugh at mistakes, laugh at silly things, laugh as much as possible. Laugh looking in their eyes. Holding them in arms.
Keep them locked in your thoughts. Make them anticipate what you will do next. How you will look today and rock their world. Make them eager to meet you every day when they open their eyes, when they finish work and when they fall back to sleep to meet you next day.
From this point……
8. Look in Close. Stay Close
Regard your partner. Their presence, their signs of existence. Look into their eyes while talking. Do not just talk about important stuff or what you need them to do. Talk gibberish. Literary. Talk gibberish looking in their eyes.
“Do you know there can be double rainbows in the sky at the same time? There can be a full circle rainbow too? Have ya heard Enrique is on tour? Enrique, the singer of “I’ll be your hero. I’ll take away the pain. I will stand by you forever~~~~~. You can take my pain away~~~~”.” Right lyrics or tune not needed. Just feel the moment.
When you go out hold hands, sit next to each other, wrap one arm around. Go out frequently too. Take jogs together, look at the sunset, gaze stars, museums are a good choice. When watching TV, watch together. Skin to skin you know.
Even when you got a big family or kids. That will be more fun if you see it another way around. The game of sneaking begins. Hide and seek. The tension, the excitement.
9. Time Management
Our life is built on times that we spend. So, spend them wisely. Manage your time. Divide it. For your work, for relaxation, for sleep, for family, for the loved one and of course for yourself.
That is a tricky thing to do. Actually living, loving, breathing everything is a tricky thing to do. I mean do you know how many muscles it takes and so many movements happen when you breathe. It is insane.
Giving time to different things make them realize their priority. When you are working make a table so that you finish it. But, again when you are working do not forget someone is there too also in your life.
Same way let your partner utilize their time their way. They have a life too that they need to live to make money, to spend with family, to stay healthy. Respect that and live yours.
10. Love for Who They Are
And at the last point (this is absolutely not the last one). Accept them as they are first. When you start dating someone or liking someone ask your heart if you are already liking them as they are or is there any other ulterior motive. Example:
“I will be able to bring change.”
“Things will work out.”
“I will learn to adjust.”
“It is perfect according to my standard.”
“Does not matter I’m just despo. I need someone to go out with me.”
And so on.
It is absolutely not right to get into a relationship without preparing yourself for future. You will be a hypocrite then, a jerk. Be true to that person and mostly be true to your heart. It has got already a ton to take care of!
Love Is Not A Game
No one can tell you how to love or what is the right way to love someone. You may try hard to maintain a relationship but that does not mean love is a settlement. It is an understanding between two individuals. The least that I can say is, you have to give your best shot that there is no scope for regret even if the love and relationship or both ends. You have done what you wanted to do. And you are happy with yourself. At the end of the day, you live with none other than you.